Wednesday, November 16, 2011

It's feels like finally the 'light bulb' turned on!

I am always gripping about how I wish Bryce would just put more effort into the things that he is really weak at, things that really bother me & prevent us from having a really strong relationship; that I wish he would work on his weaknesses & if I work on MINE as well, our relationship would be so much stronger. I have always said, "You cannot change others, they have to want to make change for themselves," but I realize I can say this over & over, but what's the point if you don't even practice what you preach...

I can easily make a list of my weaknesses & strengths, continually thinking that happiness will come if I stress on fixing my weaknesses & when I do so, I will be a better person. I always thought I would get farther in life if I fixed those first, but in reality those weaknesses aren’t going to get me ahead. My strengths, everyone’s strengths, are what get us ahead. I'm not marrying my best friend for his weaknesses, I'm marring him for his strengths & the same goes for him. (I hope!) When I said, "Yes" to his proposal, I was saying yes to us. To our family as a whole.  It's not about me anymore. This is something I've been secretly struggling with & I didn't even know it. I didn't know that by constantly wishing for him to change & fix the things that bother me I was taking steps in the wrong direction. This goes for the feelings I have for some of my friends & family too.

So I ask myself, why do I care about his weaknesses (weaknesses in friends& family also), they bring nothing to the solution of our problems, they don't bring happiness! Bryce cannot be all things I want him to be, I cannot be all things he wants me to be. WE can be our strengths & accept those of each other. We cannot be perfect in everything. To be a good team, to make a good marriage, we must complement each other. His strengths are different than mine & together we have these skills that make us a team; A team stronger than we ever thought possible.

I truly think my parents, without trying, have this in their relationship. They have 28 years of strong marriage, love, & happiness because they complement each other. They know each other’s strengths & love each other for them. I never hear them bicker or bring up weaknesses. My dad loves my mom & never brings her down & she does the same for him. They are a team & two very amazing people to look up too. I have always envied there relationship & said I want that, but didn't know how they did it. I see it now; I see that my parents are not trying to fill a void within each other. No one person can be an expert in everything and they don't expect that in each other.

So with this all said, I know I’m putting myself out there & sharing my deepest feelings, but this is a place for me to vent & share my life. To write down what is in my head on paper. To get it all out & I am certainly doing so with this topic. I see so much room for growth & happiness now that I’ve come to realize this about myself. I see so much good in Bryce & I. Most importantly the better it will do for our family. I see him for him & I see me for me! Together we are taking an act of faith & becoming one step closer to our dreams, by simply realizing our strengths & respecting them.


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